Being Celibate

In 2012, I first got interested in pursuing celibacy as a life path (remaining single on purpose). Some reasons I've had over the years: I wanted to focus on thinking, and getting married could lead to having a family, which would lead to a mentally demanding job, which would use up my capacity to think. (Another version of that: I have a lot of work to do and having a girlfriend or wife takes energy and intentionality.) Jesus recommends celibacy in Matthew 19, and I thought "I can do that". The beauty of the simplicity of singleness. A consistent ambivalence toward romance going back to when I was in elementary school. I am not interested in having children (instead, creative works and students). The desire to go into "the desert" and to cultivate disestablishedness. Retaining the identity of a "soldier". Keeping God first.

There have been difficulties over the years. Celibacy as an intentional life path is not something that other people understand, largely because it is unexpected. When I have sought female friendship, sometimes it has been interpreted as romantic interest. I ended up in the role of "person who breaks other people's romantic dreams".

Celibacy has freed me to be friends with a variety of women I might not have had time for if I were married. (Has given me more free time in general.) It has also kept me focused on work, and free to follow my work wherever it took me.