Tuesday, March 12, 2019


In some settings, I feel favor. Favor is a state in which you can put out a little bit of effort and it's reflected back to you. If you put out a message, you get energy back, in the form of a message, or some kind of action. People give you uptake. You have an intuitive grasp of the situation, and petitions and questions flow out of you in a comfortable way, well-timed and in the right tone of voice. People approve of you, don't read you wrong, trust you -- things are easy, socially.

With favor, I have more of a voice. I can think of more things to say, and I'm rooted, to a certain extent. I can see my place in the world.

Because this is an intuitive thing, it's hard to manufacture. Maybe to find it, you just have to travel from place to place. It helps when you find people with the same background as you, or the same type of brain. People with schizophrenia or related disorders, and bipolar people, are easier for me to connect with. I have bipolar disorder and sometimes identify with the traits of schizophrenia-related personality disorders. It's not like I think "oh, this person is mentally ill too, I'll like them", but something about having been in strange and difficult places mentally makes it so that we're somehow both in tune.

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