The Self-care System

Written in January of 2019, minor edits in 2021.

He walked along, lost in his thoughts, when a gang of five young men surrounded him.

"Are you a self-carer?" they asked.

"No," the man said.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to put myself first."

"Why's that? You think you're too good for us?" They stepped in closer.

"No", he said, by a force of will over his body shutting down.

"Believes in himself, doesn't he?" "Or God." "Same difference." "Well, we'll give him a reason for self-care."

They beat the man to the ground, kicking him and pummelling him, punching him in the kidneys over and over. They knew he was still alive, and then left him there.

No one came to rescue the man. He lay there, and thought, "Well, I guess I should go to the hospital".

The hospital, like all the hospitals, was run by the Self-carers. They welcomed him in. "I'm glad you took the step to come to us, out of love for yourself." He was confused as to whether he loved himself, although that might have been from the loss of blood. They sat him down in the triage line, knowing that he would live on, and gave him some paperwork to fill out.

When he got done with it, they came over to officiate the Oath.

"I do solemnly declare" he began, repeating after them, "That I always have and henceforward always will put my well-being first, and following from that, the well-being of my collective. And that God does not exist, otherwise he would have saved me, and that I renounce God and never did and never will serve him or love him all my life. So help me."

"We will help you", the doctors said. "Now come with us to the exam room." They diagnosed him with traumas, most notably serious kidney damage.

"We're going to have to replace at least one of your kidneys. Fortunately we have a fresh boatload in from where we get them from."

"Where do you get them from?"

"Oh, from a faraway country where it's more economical to raise them."

"Okay, I guess that's what I'll have to go with", said the man.

"Great, you're going to do great", the doctors said.

They did the operation, and everything went well for the man. He got integrated into the self-care life, his confusion covered up with things making sense.

But one day he had a relapse, out on the edge of town. He started yearning. Not long it was before a man saw him yearning, read it from his body language, and started talking to him to get him to come close and be bound to him. Then the waiting man stabbed him in the chest and took his wallet.

While the man lay there, bleeding, he thought "I'd better go to the hospital again. I'm sure glad I put my well-being first." And he began to rouse himself.

But his yearning paralyzed him, fought with him. He tried his best to overcome his own heart, but his heart was too strong to let him walk steadily toward the hospital. He would have died.

But then a stranger approached. He had his own medical supplies and cared for the man's wound. The man wanted to thank him and be his friend, but the stranger looked around and said, "No, I can't let you do that. Community's watching. They want to suck me into them, and if I form a community with you, Community wins. I'm sorry, I have to go." "Wait, let me tell you about Self-care." So the helper stayed and heard.

"No, I still have to go. But you can unswear your oath to the Self-care people."

So he did, repeating after the helper. "My well-being is accidental to me, not essential. God is truer than life."